WMBC Weekend Rewind: 08/02/2010

Quick recap of the events of the weekend for the tireless weekend warriors who worked for us who didn't work.

Here we go:

Albert Haynesworth failed the Redskins' conditioning test for a third time today, officially marking this whole saga as a joke. Let's recap. But 5 days ago, on 7/28, Haynesworth, after realizing a trade or release was out of the question, promised to play nice with the Redskins. Since then, he has failed 3 conditioning tests and failed to practice with the first team, attracting a ton of attention. At least what's nice about all this is that it's providing a glimpse into how Shanahan acted as a parent and how Haynesworth acts all the time acted as a child. How many times do you think lil' Albert couldn't finish his homework because of a boo boo "wrist irritation"?

Next up...

Stuart Appleby sizzled to victory Sunday with a 59 in the final round of the Greenbrier Classic, simultaneously setting a course record and slapping tortoises everywhere in the face (The hare won? Next you're going to tell me pigs can't build houses out of straw, clay, and bricks). After being tied for 8th at the end of the 3rd round, 7 shots behind then leader Jeff Overton, who was averaging, relatively consistently, -6 per round, Stuart Appleby shot an amazing 11 under in the final round, beating Jeff Overton by one stroke for the championship (or tell me pigs DO appreciate the concept of diminishing marginal effort? I mean c'mon, there's a wolf on the prowl. You can build a house but never thought, "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts"? Stupid pigs. Straw house...what other brilliant ideas you got?). A 59 for a round has only happened 5 times, and even though this was on a par 70 course (one other 59 was on a par 71 course and the 3 other were on a par 72 course), this is still very impressive, and I'm not just saying that because I shoot about a 100 on par 3 course respect the skill involved with golf. With only 5 59's in the history of golf, but 2 in the past year, is golf experiencing the modern benefit of players becoming more and more physically fit? Wait...never mind... (Sorry Phil, you know I love ya)

Next Up...

Something's gotta get us through this Monday, and it might as well be laughing at other people. First, listen to this guy, who accomplishes conveying surprise, worry, a fear of death, and a calming return to normalcy, all while using only one phrase (Give him an Oscar!). Seen that already? Fine. Like M&M's? Who doesn't? Like great ideas that turn suspiciously quickly into terrible ideas? Two for two?!? Well then do I have a treat for you (oh me, oh my, oh puns).

That about sums 'er up. We'll revamp, reload, and retry next week.