End of the Line for U.S.A. Soccer

Late game heroics couldn't save the U.S. team from elimination

Man, I really had hoped I wouldn't have to be writing this article this soon. As both a fan and a writer for a blog that focuses on teams that can't seem to shake losing, you're aware that very often if you root for certain teams once in a while you have to bite the bullet and write about your team's loss. As such, I allowed myself some time to cool off after U.S.A.'s eliminating loss to Ghana, again, so I could approach this post with a level head and mature demeanor. With that, I can now honestly express my well thought out feelings:

Soccer is stupid.

Ok, maybe I'm not over it yet. But before soccer fans unite and set virtual fire to my blog, let me explain my views.

First of all, I never really played much soccer. In fact, I'm pretty awful at it. But I'm pretty bad at most other sports I critique too (unless the circumstances are just right), so I don't think my lack of experience or talent disqualifies me from writing about things I think are dumb. True, I am somewhat of a typical U.S. Soccer fan in that I really only watch it every four years my interest can fluctuate, but that just means I'm as qualified as most of you, and that we're on common ground.

No, what I was upset about doesn't stem from a lack of knowledge about or appreciation for the game. It doesn't have to do with me just being a sore loser, either. In fact, I realized that this post wasn't going to be only mostly me whining about the team I rooted for losing when I realized the issue I had with Saturday's game wouldn't have presented itself in other major sports.

Ok, now that I've hopefully re-engaged my soccer readers, let me elaborate. After giving up a goal only 3 minutes into overtime, the game's integrity exited stage left. What was a thrilling game at the end of regular time turned into a joke. On one end, you had an exhausted and deflated team who were attempting to pull another miracle off so desperately that opportune chances fell by the waste side wayside. Their generally poor passing and rushed attitude made them seem more like a 5th grade soccer team rather than one of the top in the world. Not like Ghana was any better. What was once an energetic and lively team fell down so often and moved so slowly that the coach actually received a recruiting call for a retirement home league.

You can tell me flopping is part of the game (next time I'll just throw on Shakespeare), and you can even tell me that all major sports have some rule that rubs certain fans the wrong way, but I don't think any other sports' annoying rules actually take away from the game like flopping. For instance, in baseball, a pitcher can lose a game if they pitch a no hitter. A batter can reach on an error by an infielder, advance to second on a no-throw by the catcher, and subsequently score on two fly outs. No hits. No earned runs. One big L for the pitcher and one annoying rule for baseball.

Nope, I racked my brain for similar "loopholes" in sports that rubbed the losing team the wrong way. Intentionally walking the big time power hitter in baseball? That comes with the price of letting a runner on. Kneeling the ball in football? You'll eat up 2 minutes if you can't advance the ball, less if the other team has a timeout (without even considering field position factors). Basketball has a shot clock, and while the usual fouling at the end of a close game can be frustrating for the team ahead, it is a source of hope for the losing team. Hockey can be similar with regard to the players attempting to hold the puck at the end of the game to waste time, but the ice is so short and the players so fast that this isn't really a viable option. What if the current leader could finish up his or her Sunday round and go back creating divots on the course for the golfers who had yet to finish and were closing in them? Absolutely ridiculous.

For a team that provided so much excitement throughout this world cup, our team, to end their run having their dreams slowly and painfully drained out of them was wrong for the fans, wrong for the team, and, in my opinion, wrong for the sport. After awakening a country to a global pastime (U.S.A. - Ghana set World Cup viewer records), you spoiled it with a boring, annoying end. Sorry World Cup, but on your part, what a flop.

Next time I want to watch a soccer match between a team playing like nervous, rushing children and a team acting like children I'll head to the park down the street. Seats are cheaper, and my head won't kill after the game.

Although, maybe I'll offer them an acting class after the game. Gotta start support our future global athletes early, right?